Civic Engagement and the Restoration of Community
Six
Conversations That Matter
SM
Six
Conversations
One: The
Invitation
Transformation occurs through choice, not mandate. Invitation is the
call to create an alternative future. What is the invitation we can make
for people to participate in and own the relationships, tasks, and
process that lead to transformation?
The
invitation must contain a hurdle or demand if accepted. It is a
challenge to engage. It declares, “We want you to come, but if you do,
here is what will be required from you.” Most leadership initiatives or
training are about how we get or enroll people to do tasks and
feel good about doing things they may not want to do. Change is a
self-inflicted wound. People need to self-enroll in order to
experience their freedom of choice and commitment.
The
leadership task is to name the debate, issue the invitation, and engage
those who choose to show up. For every gathering there are those not in
the room who are needed. Those who accept the first call will bring the
next circle of people into the conversation.
Two:
Possibility
This is
framed as the choice to enter a possibility for the future as opposed to
problem solving the past. This is based on an understanding that living
systems are really propelled to the force of the future. The possibility
conversation frees people to create new futures that make a difference.
Problem
solving and negotiation of interests makes tomorrow only a little
different from yesterday. Possibility is a break from the past and opens
space for a future we had only dreamed of. Declaring a possibility
wholeheartedly is the transformation. The leadership task is to postpone
problem solving and stay focused on possibility until it is spoken with
resonance and passion.
Three:
Ownership
Accountability is the willingness to acknowledge that we have
participated in creating, through commission or omission, the conditions
that we wish to see changed. Without this capacity to see ourselves as
cause, our efforts become either coercive or wishfully dependent on the
transformation of others.
Community
will be created the moment we decide to act as creators of what it can
become. This requires us to believe in the possibility that this
organization, neighborhood, community, is mine or ours to create. This
will occur when we are willing to answer the question is “how have I
contributed to creating the current reality?” Confusion, blame, and
waiting for someone else to change are a defense against ownership and
personal power.
The idea
that I am cause can be a difficult question to take on immediately, so
lower risk questions precede this. The best opening questions are
questions about the level of ownership for the particular gathering
people are engaged in at the moment. The ownership conversation is the
most difficult and therefore requires a level of relatedness before it
can be held in the right context.
A subtle
denial of ownership is innocence and indifference. The future is denied
with the response, “it doesn't matter to me--whatever you want to do is
fine.” This is always a lie and just a polite way of avoiding a
difficult conversation around ownership.
People
best create that which they own and co-creation is the bedrock of
accountability. It is the belief that I am cause, not effect. The
leadership task is to confront people with their freedom.
Four:
Dissent
Dissent is
the cousin of diversity; the respect for a wide range of beliefs. This
begins by allowing people the space to say "no". If we cannot say "no"
then our "yes" has no meaning. Each needs the chance to express their
doubts and reservations, without having to justify them, or move quickly
into problem solving. “No” is the beginning of the conversation for
commitment. Doubt and "no" is a symbolic expression of people finding
their space and role in the strategy. It is when we fully understand
what people do not want that choice becomes possible. The leadership
task is to surface doubts and dissent without having an answer to every
question.
Five:
Commitment
Whole
hearted commitment makes a promise to peers about their contribution to
the success of the whole. It is centered in two questions: What promise
am I willing to make? And, what is the price I am willing to pay for the
success of the whole effort? It is a promise for the sake of a larger
purpose, not for the sake of personal return. Commitment is the answer
to lip service.
Peers
receive the promise and determine whether the promises are enough to
bring an alternative future into existence. The leadership task is to
reject lip service and demand either authentic commitment or ask people
to say no and pass. We need the commitment of much fewer people than we
thought to create the future we have in mind.
Six: Gifts
The most
infrequent conversation we hold is about our gifts. We tend to be
deficiency obsessed. Rather than focus on our deficiencies and
weaknesses, which will most likely not go away, we gain more leverage
when we focus on the gifts we bring and capitalize on those. Instead of
problematizing people and work, the conversation is about searching for
the mystery that brings the highest achievement and success.
The
focus on gifts confronts people with their essential core that has the
potential to make the difference and change lives for good. This
resolves the unnatural separation between work and life. The leadership
task is to bring the gifts of those on the margin into the center.
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